I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize