The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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