My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
How's work?
Spinning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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