so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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