Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
