i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize