i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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