Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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