the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
