O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
