remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
