Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
