One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
