No stitches, just platelets and will power
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
