tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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