Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
