just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
