no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
