clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
