I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize