So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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