giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
