You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
