All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
