she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize