you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
