If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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