in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Someone signed my nipple.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
