so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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