He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
