John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
