I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
