you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
