Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Randomize