Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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