Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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