my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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