So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
