somebody snuck up and got me drunk
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
