she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
