I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
