how can u be prego again
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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