Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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