My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
