i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
