Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
