I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I will be naked everywhere
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
