Heybabeimwearingurpanties
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
