I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
