I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
