my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
pray to the hookup gods
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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