You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we're making bets on your personal life
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
