Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
