i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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