Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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