Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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