you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize