The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
where are my pants?
in the oven.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
