just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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