And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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