recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
