Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
