i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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