we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
